The following was sent at 5.45 AM and as with many other email updates the system didn’t work.
"Rain. Spotting but definitely rain.
Mongrel night. Read a warning by Namecheap essentially about running a blog – a service they provide and for which I give them money. Might have to take my websites and money somewhere else."
8.24 AM
Proper rain now. I managed a few shots before it came.
5.03 PM
Long day inside the van and been at Waldrens for a couple of hours cooking dinner and lining up a redarc replacement.
Went earlier to the airport boat ramp after hassle free shower upstream. An hour or more with the hosting service sorting out their panic, not over yet.
Tried allbsorts to see why the redarc isn’t charging off the alternator.
Then a lot of rain until 4.30 but stopped now. A caravan and house ute in the area so far. Very cosy in the van. Dripcatchers are brilliant.
Horror night internally, awake since 2AM. Bad GPs, no psychological help (the opposite). Wish my life was over.
10.16 AM
Think I might have had 40 minutes or so sleep and feel better somewhat. Managed to sneak in a shower way down from Riverside at the end gate. Phew.
Here is the disturbing ugliness of these bastards who’ve moved in. How they get away with it is beyond me. I’m in more need, none of that expensive property, and there they are with means giving a great big Fuck You to council, residents, tourists, and homeless people locally.
Utterly repugnant. They belong out on the hillbilly hill with daddy’s boy, and give him hell.
4.06 PM
Heavyish overcast and quite dark. Totally useless day. Did nothing. Tried to set up again with my bank. Instructions I was given didn’t work. AI fucksteap went round in circles and agitated the screen so I couldn’t read anything or click. Makes me furious. Absolute idiots making fuckhead decisions. I detest these deeply arsehole systems. Got nowhere.
Where the time went I don’t know.
At 2.15 I went to storage, paid and dropped off the $7.50 inflatable mattress. Wasn’t comfortable I have to get a better mattress base.
Then to Waldrens. Sunny and rested then a big motorhome moved in, worrying me. Please no generator. It’s also in my line of view out the window, not good. But if I don’t hear it, it’s good.
Long stupid days. I hope I find a place to live and paint. I’m losing energy for this, and it’s all I’ve got.
4.15 PM
A Coaster just pulled in, also near. Fucking Pitt St. I thought I’d be the only one here.
4.36 PM
Unbelievable. As soon as the geezer gets out of the Coaster the two in the motorhome go rushing up. Apparently I don’t qualify. They start talking loudly. I’m trying to listen to a video by Jamelle B and can’t hear all the words.
I get in the driver’s seat and move up, closer to the highway but away from these people.
So much for getting here early to get a good spot. The disturbers and the insensitives who crowd me out always win.
“the idea that eventually folks feel so beaten down by rulers they will rise up against tyranny.”
This idea is a result of natural thought processes but it’s not so simple.
Someone who had studied these things assisted a conversation we had here about uprising: he said the truly oppressed are not likely to do it. Uprising, he said, occurs in communities who had a certain quality of life taken away.
If you examine the quote you can see it’s hiding a viewpoint holding of a certain quality of life. A truly oppressed person wouldn’t likely say it: they are oppressed and fearful of the oppressors.
Presumably then the former quality of life, the degree of oppression, the ability to maintain it, and a clearly identifiable or attributable cause are among the factors involved.
7.08 AM
The above is another wasted 20 minutes of energy and interest. Yet again to comments that close while taking care and tine to compose them.
Turned out to be a top night Absolutely undisturbed, not cold. Woke at 4.30AM ultimately, and it drizzled rain sometime and still is now but clearing.
And half an hour later:
8.50 AM
At the upstream spot for a shower, after breakfast at the quarry. I knew I should have waited. The rain stopped so the locals would come down for their walk.
I had the bucket all set uo to gas jetblast and down they come. Glad I spotted them through the bushes, tho one was on a horse. I can’t afford to have a problem showering here after giving extremely negative but informative information about the worst showers iin southern nsw.
So I made a coffee and waiting it out. I wanted to speak to the NRMA mechanic early today but now there’s no chance. You really can’t go making plans ideal when you’re homeless. You live in the gaps and have to stay in the gaps, and fit in the gaps, to survive.
Very pretty after drizzle.
Mechanic- No Charge
3.09 PM At Waldrens after town, which included the mechanic (who put in the radiator and hoses) looking over what might have caused the warning lights to go on. Found nothing but suggested the reserve tank was dirty and can do it. Suggested two sensors one for water other for oil.
Also. Put a cheap mattress under the mattress which might be better, cleaned fridge and cabin. Feels like car is good again after the scare last Friday.
But I do need a place to live and paint.
3.50 PM
So they came in and left, but it didn’t feel right. Sure enough, in they come again, to get the spot they decided on. Caravans like this are where generators live, and I’ve been shitscared since I saw them. It’s now a stress waiting game. And the thing is, they put them on when you’re relaxing at the end of the day, and sometimes into the night.
There are dozens of places to run their generators that no one can hear but, no, they have to do it around other people.
6.06 PM
The caravaners didn’t fire a generator, and said a hello pretty happy with themselves and by the looks won’t be trouble. Only me and them here so far.
I put the dripcatchers out in case. Wet week by the looks. Might be quiet here.
In terms of CHORES. All done, I think. Medical, pharmacy, car. I just need to decide if I’m going to drag my pushbike around.
Your bringing up sacrifices prompts a lot of thoughts.
Imagine a species in a stage of development that is frightened of a greater natural force – just frightened. Can’t control the force, and these are indeed awesome: floods, fire. Don’t have the technology to escape them, or hold them off.
Contemplating a species in that condition is something we probably now don’t do. But it’s a base point, as you effectively say. I wonder, did these beings also look upon valleys full of sunrise mist and see beauty, as well? Or was the fear so thorough that the mist was but a taunt threatening them with the everpresent power to flood?
Then to the next thoughts. A species that thinks killing another creature and ‘offering’ it a) is what the great natural force wants and b) therefore benefits the species.
I mean, wow.
If that’s held as the limit and completeness of where we come from, it’s no wonder as a species, believing this that and the other, and still killing for it, that we’re pretty messed up.
6.06 AM
That was an example of a complete waste of time. Comments closed while stupidly punching out individual characters taking forever and of no real meaning.
I do it to keep the mental cogs turning, but because my life has been endlessly deeply lonely it’s also a cry for company and some sort of recognition that I exist. Utterly pathetic.
Woke at 3AM and remained so. Feel terrible and depressed. Not having a GP who cares is a problem as I come towards the yearly fitness to drive huge hassle. The prick I have now could knock me back, just because he’s covering his arse and hasn’t taken an interest to see my Canberra results.
Very overcast, first colour.
7.33 AM
By the river sth side downstream a bit, past the repulsive big caravans and expensive 4x4s, motorbike and massive disgusting mess that’s moved in to grassland.
Discovered this, my light out. Very vulnerable so this hit bigger than it should.
But saw this too. I’m not as moved as I have been.
10.40 AM
Headlamp fixed. Takes a globe, we found out (Supercheapauto).
Got water for the tank after a stop at Mossy Pt then arrived at Waldrens truck area at 3 PM. I saw a Pest’s car at Broulee again, same place, so he might be staying another night. Don’t want to risk it, I’ll take the trucks tonight.
7.20 PM
Truck moved in, wouldn’t stop the engine. I drove around to the quieter section and the Pest wasn’t here, so I’m in a bottom area spot. If he comes I’ll ignore him, but I hope he’s gone back to Canberra.
